New Plan

My whole life has a new plan now.
I am quiting my job(which I am so so bored at), I am moving to Chicago by March(La Crosse sucks), and I am going to travel Europe for the month of March. I am trying to leave the first week in March and be in Europe for my 25th B-Day. I am excited to finally do something for myself. I have always lived my life by making other people my first priority but no more. I am first and then everyone else. If you think I am greedy or mean for doing this, sorry, I cant keep putting how I feel 2nd, 3rd or anywhere but first. I think this year will be my year to do great things.

Italia

So I may move to Italy to live with my friends. I think it would be amazing but that means I would have to quit this job I have. This is a great job but this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. I am a little nervous about it but then again I plan on traveling for the first month I'm there anyway and if I can do that I can def live there.
I would be living in Gallarate, which is just outside Milan. Both of my friends teach English over there right now and they said I could find a job really easy and if I can just learn some of the language I think I could get a good job in a hotel or restaurant.
Now, how to quit this job without being an ass about it. Like I have already said, its a once in a lifetime opportunity and they cant tell me "No" right? oh well, I'm gonna do it!

Her

Ok, so I talked to her last night for the first time in a while. it was ok though. I know i shouldnt want to talk to her but i just like to hear she is doing well. Its still very very hard and I still want to be with her and love her beyond belief. but i know i just need to walk away right now. just get it through my head that we are not and will not be together for a long time if ever again. and who knows, maybe my real soul mate is just around the corner or maybe we really are just like the notebook or jim and pam. haha, I use to say we were just like jim and pam from the office. hard to explain.
In other news, i am going to Europe in the spring. I have a few friends that are over there and im so excited to go do this. I want to fly into London and see a soccer game then go to Amsterdam to enjoy their activities(haha) and then to Switzerland or Austria then down to Italy where my two best friends are living just outside of Milan. It should be a good time.
I do feel like shit right now though, thinking im getting sick. i really hope not though. ok i gotta shower, maybe that will help, and then off to work.

Boo!

so it was a pretty good weekend. It could have been better. I am still just trying to keep my mind clear. this weekend for some reason, I just couldnt keep her off my mind. I would just be sitting there and out of nowhere just her name would pop into my head. I dont get that. I was just watching tv and then my mind would wonder right to her. It sucks. I dont want to think about her any more. Every time i do I almost come to tears. Its not like its bad stuff, like wondering if she even cares/loves/thinks of me anymore, which shouldnt matter now. But its just her name. Mariah. That one word no breaks my heart every time I hear it. I need to change something but I havent figured out what yet. I am gonna start working out on a daily basis. I also am gonna start to be smarter about money. Gonna try to keep the apartment clean and maybe find another girl to think about. I hope some of that stuff work but either way Im getting the fuck out of this city and living somewhere new and exciting and it will most likely be in Chicago. I hope sooner then later but Im gonna wait till at least the spring so these next couple of months are gonna suck big time.

Stupid Boy

Have you ever heard the song by Keith Urban "Stupid Boy"? Thats what I feel like right now. I feel like just another stupid boy. I just can't seem to get my mind past this girl. I have missed her every single day. She brings me to tears so much. I hate her for it almost. I just need to be strong but its really hard to. I don't have anyone to talk to. I live in this town by myself and need to find a way out of here. Its hard though because of this job I have. It's perfect. I went from working night audit to being the Assistant General Manager in under a year. I am getting amazing experience right now but I need to get out to stay sane. I have to find a way to get her off my mind.
I have to go to the Twin Cities this week and of course thats where she lives. It will be the first time there in over 3 years that I wont be going to see her or going there with her. All I want is to be happy and I just have to get it through my think head that I cant be happy with her anymore. I have to move on but it is just so hard to get past someone like her. I just want to go to her house with a dozen roses and a bottle of wine and tell her how much I miss and love her. I wont though. I wont. I know better but god I wish I could do that.
And I know that there are girls out there who would kill to find a guy like me. I just hope that I can find a girl that can exceed her. I can only hope right now...

Struggle

I find myself struggling with where my life is right now. I live in a city that i dont know many people and I was just dumped by my girlfriend of 3 years. She told me she needed to find herself and had to take this chance while she has the opportunity to. I understood what she meant, I told her that I love her and want to remain together. However, I knew that she needed to do this. I would get back together with her in the drop of a hat but know that that may never happen. I would move all over this world to just be with her. She was the kind of girl you dream of and i have lost her. I do kinda see us as a Notebook kind of Love. But I guess only time will tell. I know I did not do anything wrong but i have broke down every day since this happened. I just truly hope that she finds whatever it is that she is looking for. And one day she will realize taht I am not your run of the mill kind of guy. I am a dedicated, loving, caring, faithful and willing to do anything for my girl kind of guy. I love to cook my girl dinner and have a bottle of wine and cuddle up on the couch. But I know I will find a girl that will want that kind of love and want to be with a guy like me.
But I have decided to move away from La Crosse to start anew. She lives in the cities and is now moving to Seattle, funny enough though, I was born in Seattle. I have been trying to figure out where I should move. I have been going between Chicago, Minneapolis(where I grew up), and Cali. I have a good friend in Chicago, good friends and my sister in Minneapolis, and an Ex and my aunt and grandma in Cali. I just don't know yet. I just started looking and I'm scared and excited at the same time. I think I would do really well where ever I go. I have a Bachlors Degree in Hotel, Restaurant, and Tourism Management which means I can go anywhere and work anywhere.

Hotel moron

Well lets see here, where to start.
First of all, I work at a hotel and see and talk to a lot of different people. Some are nice and will tip the housekeepers and breakfast hostess but there are some real ass holes and just pure morons out there. I had a guy come to check in to the hotel, we looked for his reservation and found it for the previous night, after saying that to him he responded says he knew it was for last night but decided to come the following night and didn't inform us. I informed him that the hotel was sold out for tonight. He was mad and asked us, and I quote,"what the hell?! don't you call someone who doesn't show up to check to see if it was a mistake?" I almost laughed in his face. Are you kidding me buddy? we are not going to call every single no-show reservation. That's bull shit and he knew and said we would be hearing from him. This is now 2 weeks later and nothing. fucking moron.