Italia

So I may move to Italy to live with my friends. I think it would be amazing but that means I would have to quit this job I have. This is a great job but this would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. I am a little nervous about it but then again I plan on traveling for the first month I'm there anyway and if I can do that I can def live there.
I would be living in Gallarate, which is just outside Milan. Both of my friends teach English over there right now and they said I could find a job really easy and if I can just learn some of the language I think I could get a good job in a hotel or restaurant.
Now, how to quit this job without being an ass about it. Like I have already said, its a once in a lifetime opportunity and they cant tell me "No" right? oh well, I'm gonna do it!

Her

Ok, so I talked to her last night for the first time in a while. it was ok though. I know i shouldnt want to talk to her but i just like to hear she is doing well. Its still very very hard and I still want to be with her and love her beyond belief. but i know i just need to walk away right now. just get it through my head that we are not and will not be together for a long time if ever again. and who knows, maybe my real soul mate is just around the corner or maybe we really are just like the notebook or jim and pam. haha, I use to say we were just like jim and pam from the office. hard to explain.
In other news, i am going to Europe in the spring. I have a few friends that are over there and im so excited to go do this. I want to fly into London and see a soccer game then go to Amsterdam to enjoy their activities(haha) and then to Switzerland or Austria then down to Italy where my two best friends are living just outside of Milan. It should be a good time.
I do feel like shit right now though, thinking im getting sick. i really hope not though. ok i gotta shower, maybe that will help, and then off to work.

Boo!

so it was a pretty good weekend. It could have been better. I am still just trying to keep my mind clear. this weekend for some reason, I just couldnt keep her off my mind. I would just be sitting there and out of nowhere just her name would pop into my head. I dont get that. I was just watching tv and then my mind would wonder right to her. It sucks. I dont want to think about her any more. Every time i do I almost come to tears. Its not like its bad stuff, like wondering if she even cares/loves/thinks of me anymore, which shouldnt matter now. But its just her name. Mariah. That one word no breaks my heart every time I hear it. I need to change something but I havent figured out what yet. I am gonna start working out on a daily basis. I also am gonna start to be smarter about money. Gonna try to keep the apartment clean and maybe find another girl to think about. I hope some of that stuff work but either way Im getting the fuck out of this city and living somewhere new and exciting and it will most likely be in Chicago. I hope sooner then later but Im gonna wait till at least the spring so these next couple of months are gonna suck big time.